Long before modern archaeologists in khaki pants and wide-brimmed hats started dusting off artifacts with tiny brushes, the ancient Greeks were already trying their hand at uncovering lost civilizations. And who better to dig up than the Sumerians, the enigmatic pioneers of writing, ziggurats, and really complicated beer recipes?
The Greeks, ever curious and a little full of themselves, stumbled upon the ruins of the Sumerians and, in true academic fashion, immediately claimed to have invented archaeology (along with democracy, philosophy, and possibly yogurt). Early Greek scholars gazed upon the strange cuneiform inscriptions and concluded they must be ancient Greek written really, really badly. After all, what other civilization could possibly predate their own brilliance?
With no formal excavation techniques—unless you count spirited debates and wild hand gestures—the Greeks proceeded with what can only be described as ‘enthusiastic looting.’ Temples were stripped of artifacts, tablets were carted off to be misinterpreted, and somewhere, an old Sumerian ghost probably sighed in frustration.
Despite their best efforts, the Greeks never quite cracked the Sumerian code. They assumed the complex texts were instructions for divine rituals or possibly very elaborate shopping lists. When confronted with intricate star charts, Greek philosophers declared, “Ah yes, obviously early astronomy!”—never mind that they were probably just detailed schedules for when the best grain shipments arrived.
Had the Greeks been a bit more patient, they might have realized they were unearthing one of the world’s earliest and most sophisticated civilizations. Instead, they cheerfully took credit for discovering the ruins of a people who had, in reality, mastered irrigation while the Greeks were still figuring out how not to set their ships on fire.
Today, we can thank these enthusiastic but misguided Hellenic adventurers for at least attempting to document the past. Sure, they might have gotten most of it wrong, but their legacy paved the way for future archaeologists to misinterpret history in much more professional ways.